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Coping
with a Shocking Event
In
the course of a lifetime most of us will experience, directly or indirectly,
several personally shocking or traumatic incidents. Witnessing, experiencing
or being close to a shocking event is one such example. There are normal
reactions to these intense and/or abnormal events. Although some of these
reactions can be painful, they are part of the natural healing process.
If you have experienced an intense personal situation or a shocking/traumatic
event recently, some possible responses might be:
TYPICAL
RESPONSES
- Shock
and disbelief-Immediately after learning about a traumatic event many
people feel numb or feel like such an event can't be real.
- Speculation
about what happened and information seeking - Listening to or watching
news, checking the internet for updates, talking to others about what
you know or have heard.
- Wanting
to turn off the TV and the radio "make it all go away" for
a while.
- Feelings
of sadness or anger about the tragedy and discussing these feelings
with others.
- Wanting
to check in with loved ones, even if they are not close to the disaster
or in immediate danger. It is normal to want to touch base with someone
you care about.
- If you
are in a role where you need to attend to or provide for others, you
may not be aware of your own feelings until the immediate crisis is
over.
In
the hours and days following such tragedies, the shock begins to wear
off and it is possible that other feelings may emerge. It is also possible
that no other feelings will emerge. Everyone's reaction is individual
and perfectly OK. In the cases when other feelings emerge-these feelings
might include anger, sadness, fear, panic or depression. It is important
to share these feelings with people whom you trust.
WHAT
YOU CAN DO TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: Promoting a Healthy Response
- Talk
with people about what you are experiencing-parents, friends, teachers,
residence hall staff members (RA or Residence Hall Coordinator), pastor,
counselor-someone you feel comfortable sharing with.
- Breathe
- slow and deep abdominal breathing.
- Maintain
regular exercise.
- Eat
healthy-don't skip meals, don't eat excessively.
- Keep
a regular sleep schedule as much as possible.
- Schedule
your time and meet as many of your usual commitments and activities
as possible.
- Take
time to be alone in order to listen to yourself. Give yourself permission
to have your feelings, whatever they are. Also, give yourself permission
NOT to have intense feeling about the situation.
- Don't
withdraw for an extended period of time.
- Avoid
overextending yourself in your work or in new commitments.
- Remind
yourself that you're normal and are having normal reactions-your reactions
may be different from your friends and that's OK-reactions are very
individualistic.
- Engaging
in excessive substance use (alcohol or other drugs) to numb or escape
is not advisable. It often only delays or intensifies emotional responses.
- Don't
label your reactions or the reactions of others as weak, strange,
wrong, or crazy.
- Transfer
the energy of anger into productive activities within your community.
- Ask
others directly for what you need and want.
- Help
others.
- Pray,
meditate, spend time in nature, or do whatever suits your belief system
and allows you to connect with something larger than yourself.
ACTION
THAT YOU CAN TAKE WITH OTHERS
With
Individuals:
- Listen
- Show
that you hear their feelings and that you care through your choice
of words and behaviors.
- Just
be with them
- If appropriate,
respect their desire to be alone and to grieve in their own way
- Assist
people with solving immediate concerns or problems
- Help
connect people with available resources
Within
Your Community (when the situation calls for it):
- Give
blood (locally: Central Ky Blood Center at http://www.ckbc.org/
)
- Donate
to your local Red Cross chapter (http://www.redcross.org/where/chapts.asp
)
- Volunteer
(for more information at EKU: http://www.studentlife.eku.edu/communityservice/
)
- Find
ways to contribute your unique talents and areas of expertise to your
community
- Provide
opportunities in classrooms or in work settings for people to talk
with each other about their reactions to the recent events - right
now people need a sense of community, safety, and places to talk
- Initiate
or contribute to communications with others that help to create a
sense of understanding of how these events can happen and what we
can learn from them
SOMETIMES
IT MIGHT BE GOOD TO CONSIDER PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING:
- You
are experiencing memories of previous losses, traumas, or crisis.
- You
are experiencing heightened feelings of anxiety, fear for your own
safety, or rage.
- You
are crying more than usual in response to sadness and fear.
- You
are experiencing difficulty sleeping or nightmares.
- You
become angry or upset more easily than typical.
- You
notice a tendency to isolate yourself or withdraw.
Changes
in behavior are usually significant when they interfere with usual activities,
change behavior in significant ways, or persist for more than two weeks.
If you are having these responses, ask for help. Contact the EKU Counseling
Center at 622-1303 and ask to speak to a counselor. Or, call the Richmond
Comprehensive Care Center at 859-623-2356.
OTHER RESOURCES
EKU
Counseling Center
Student Services Building, Room 571
Phone: 622-1303
www.counseling.eku.edu
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